Artistic Statements and Critiques.

Feedback:
-"To me the 2nd and 3rd paragraph got a little dull but if you changed it into more of a story it would be an amazing piece."
-"The story is well through out , the only real issue in the punctuation(which is normal for a first draft)."
-"I might try and find lines from other poems she has done and that will make the piece that much better."

These are direct quotes that i was given during the critiquing period in class. My partners advice was to the point clear and also very helpful. He told me a pretty neat trick to keep in mind when making sure my paper flows correctly. He also gave me some clues to making my 2nd and third paragraphs more interesting like the first one. Overall my first critiquing draft went well.


New ideas.
-To add more details into my beginning to make it more interesting and mind grabbing.
-Make another connection between my american icon so that I can have a clear continum of american icons.
-Write it more as a story rather than giving facts, it will leave the reader with a better chance of remembering what they read after there finished.


Artistic Statement: Maya Angelou

It was during my middle school year when I was first inspired by the words of Dr. Maya Angelou. Earlier that day a fight between me and another student broke out during my P.E period. While I was waiting in the front office for my suspension papers, my 3rd period English teacher walked in with lunch and a paper in his hand. On the paper was a poem written by a woman name Maya Angelou called Still I Rise. “You may write me down in history with your bitter, twisted lies; you may trod me in the very dirt. But still, like dust, I'll rise.”
During this point of my life I was a troubled teen in need of advice and guidance. Words didn’t seem to solve my problems as easy as fighting and violence in result of this my fist became my voice. It seemed as if no one would listen or care about what I had to say; because of this I began to be mean, hateful and unable to express my emotions through words. At the age of 8 Maya Angelou was raped by a man named Freeman. She was forced to keep quiet about the incident or she would be significantly penalized if not. Unfortunately, Maya was a witness during Mr. Freeman’s trail; He was sentenced to death and left Maya with a great burden to deal with. She remained silent for the next five years of her life only speaking to her older brother, Bailey."I thought if I spoke, my mouth would just issue out something that would kill people, randomly, so it was better not to talk." Maya and I had this in common all though I didn’t silence myself for 5 years, I limited my self from speaking what was on my mind and heart making the words that I spoke as slient as Maya’s words.

The poem, Still I Rise, was written during the outcome of the hardest part of Maya Angelou’s life. "There is a kind of strength that is almost frightening in black women. It's as if a steel rod runs right through the head down to the feet." Her inspiring words and wisdom is what makes the connection between Maya and I. She doesn’t only write her stories as a way of expressing herself but also as a way for other young black women growing up in the same society that has gave her so many obstacles to over come. “I rather my readers learn from my mistakes rather then learn from there own.” Reading through Maya’s autobiographies has showed me different pathways that would be better for me to steer myself away from, But yet taught me that the most tragic events that happen in your life are the best events to use for inspiration.

Since reading Maya Angelou’s poetry, autobiographies, and watching her media productions it has lead me in a pathway to start my own. She has showed me that it is okay to open my mouth and speak out rather than result to the harshness of violence. “Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.” She has also showed me that great things can come from a harmful past, and there is multiply ways to express you other than violence that will still get the message across. I have written several poems of my own, and I am also interested in film production. Maya has also showed me that the best success in life is self success and that can only be reached by hard work and patience. “All great achievements require time.”